Court Gesture

1:30pm: Purring
A little preview of things to come......Femdom, feet, abrasion, breath play, humiliation, orgasm control...

( In Waking )

5:59pm: The Door
I can only show it to you, not open it for you.

Friend me to see inside. 18+

Topics: Sexuality, BDSM, Erotica, Life ramblings and mishaps.... And perhaps some cooking recipes.

~the beast that shouted "I"~

6:40pm: The Lifestyle
[cross-posted from the secretaryfans group on LJ]

Secretary- 2002- Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Spader

I just was thinking about how I first got interested in the lifestyle, and found that the movie really was fantastic and made me think about sexuality in a different way. Watching it still gives me great hope about my own journey into BDSM.

"A little about myself. Since watching this movie about 3 years ago, I've found my way into discovering more and more about the BDSM lifestyle. For me, part of this journey was indeed this movie, as it had an effect that probably wasn't realized when I saw it the first time. For the first time I saw a BDSM relationship that was loving, and was a positive thing for the participants. It intrigued me, and a little spark went in my mind that really couldn't go away. Though it probably wasn't the only thing that got me into the lifestyle, I find that it's definetly something I hold as a moment in my life where I found something mysterious and exciting.

I guess my whole point in saying this is that I wonder if anyone on here has experienced sort of the same thing/feeling after seeing the movie... If maybe something awakened that said that maybe a BDSM relationship could be as loving as any other. Or if not BDSM, has it played a part in your own sexual journey?"

11:46am: Changing
I was looking through my journal and realized that I've been writing in it for longer than I expected.. and found an old sexual journey test that seemed like it needed an update.....

Dilettante You scored 39% Experience, 83% Adventurousness, 83% Kinkyness, and 40% Corrupt!

You have definitly found your way to pleasure. You know what you like and continue to do it. Do not hesitate to continue to push your limits. Do not get stuck only doing what is comfortable. Sometimes we learn the most about ourselves when we push ourselves harder and further on the journey to self discovery. Please remember to rank my test. Thank You

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Experience You scored higher than 99% on Adventurousness You scored higher than 99% on Kinkyness You scored higher than 99% on Corruption

Link: The Sexual Experimentation Test written by LadyLilithDreams on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

It's interesting to look back in my journal now and see all the things that happened in the last couple years, both through good times and bad. I guess I needed to have a place to vent alot of what had been happening and as far as that goes, it's good that I have those entries to remember how my life has been going. It's funny how things turn out- absurd even. And all we can to do is laugh.

6:21pm: The Chapter
"As the curtain calls, and the cast recedes, I am all that ever was and all that ever will be. In wither and repose this frayed chapter now does close, and fade into neon black." -forever (nevermore)

11:59pm: A Chef's Notebook
So lately I haven't been eating many meals that are that great.... after the fifth or so hot italian sausage I start feeling sick to my stomach. However, as backup this weekend I bought some spaghetti-- a thought I had after eating some frozen spaghetti (which was rank). Anyway, just to etch the moment for posterity:
Prego Chunky Garden pasta sauce- mushroom and green pepper
Barilla Bucatini Rigati

boiled water--- exactly 1 1/2 quarts= 6 cups (looked it up on the net)

kept it on high- pot in a quarter of the package more or less because the directions were for half but 1. I prolly wouldn't eat that much and well 2... my pot's not that big. let it boil for about 5 mins or so... till it wasn't hard but not soggy yet, and somehow I got it perfectly.

For the sauce- after draining and putting on a plate, I put a little more than 1/2 a cup in the still hot pot and let simmer for a bit then poured over the spaghetti.

Was the best meal I've had for weeks and weeks.Mmmmm, and to top it off I had a salad: lettuce, catalina kraft dressing, and a rosa tomato.

Not that it's the most impressive "recipe" on earth but I'm feeling good from the meal, and want to remember it.

*creams myself*

12:44pm: Absurd
Almost over... just a little more to go. clean some study some fill in some bubbles and I'm done. This is usually that time again- that time to firebomb. But it seems I already did that a little earlier this semester so I've had to study a bit more for my finals-- maybe that's just what I needed to do well.. got an A by 2 points in my stats class and I think i'll do alright in my other ones. I've been so anxious though, about school, about life. And just when it all comes to the event horizon I remember that one... powerful word. Multiple cookies for the person that knows what I'm talking about. Here's a hint: fuck it.

Still no job- gas is back up again- just in time for summer, and we just let a terrorist be put to life in prison. Somehow we still find time to laugh:

Thank you Stephen Colbert. We live in an aburd, cruel world. And all I can do is laugh with you. All I can do is give a little wag of the finger to Mr. Bush- oh you dirty rascal. Going to war with or without you UN. Going to war with or without you WMD's. Going to war with you 9/11. A tuesday like no other tuesday. So, like Stephen lets all laugh. Go ahead, watch the video and chuckle Nation. This is who we are:

www.thankyoustephencolbert.org

12:03pm: test thingy

Fledgeling You scored 28% Experience, 62% Adventurousness, 63% Kinkyness, and 29% Corrupt!

You have started on the path to self discovery. You have tasted the forbidden fruit. Continue to experiment and find all of what is possible. Enjoy your sexuality and learn to fly! Please remember to rank my test. Thank You

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on Experience You scored higher than 85% on Adventurousness You scored higher than 85% on Kinkyness You scored higher than 88% on Corruption

Link: The Sexual Experimentation Test written by LadyLilithDreams on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Can't say I like it when people do a ton of these for no reason.. but I figured this would describe me a bit without having to give you all the.. details, hehe. Thinks I'm a little more than a fledgeling.. but the stats are interesting.

1:28pm: today is today
Been sitting, been waiting, and nothing's happening. Letting everything flow away from me- I must realize that that time is now. There is no excuse. The time to battle the future is now. Today is today, so I better make the best of it. Lets see where it goes.